Angel's Return
by tingi98
Summary: Leeteuk finally comes back from the army. Thousands of fans around the world are waiting to see him on stage. But something's … different about him.
1. Chapter 1

**Leeteuk finally comes back from the army. Thousands of fans around the world are waiting to see him on stage. But something's … different about him.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of super junior, other bands mentioned in this story and reference to any real-life persons, animals, events and stories is purely unintended. This story is also not factual and is told primarily from Leeteuk's POV. Rated M.**

As Leeteuk walked out from his camp, he could see fans lined up along the street holding banners to welcome him back. Inside, he smiled. But outwardly, he looked down and ran towards a black van that had come to pick him up. It's been a long two years.

There was no one else in the van, except his manager who was driving. It was only five minutes later that his manager spoke up and broke the silence.

"It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back."

It was a fairly long drive back to the dorms. Silence fell again and it began to rain. Leeteuk looked out of the tinted windows, now dotted with raindrops. Leeteuk sighed inwardly.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, they quietly reached the dorms. Without a word spoken, they took the lift up.

"The boys will be back in two hours or so. Have some rest. Then we'll talk."

"Okay."

Leeteuk entered the dorm slowly. He had been back before on his off days and his room had been more or less kept the same. But it still felt surreal to be back. He took off his shoes, put them neatly in the cupboards, and then entered the living room. It was a mess, but a familiar, comforting mess. He walked into the kitchen and found a lunchbox sitting on the table.

"Hyung, have some food first! I made your favorite kimbap!"

Leeteuk smiled gingerly and picked up the lunchbox Ryeowook had made for him. He held it as he walked into the first room next to the kitchen. Standing at the door, he took in the whitewashed walls and bed sheets. Everything felt so comforting.

* * *

"Is hyung back? Is teukie-hyung back? Tell me manager-hyung! Pleaseeeeee?"

After dropping off Leeteuk at the dorms, the manager drove back to SM Entertainment. The moment he walked into the practice rooms, everyone inside stopped and turned to look at him. A second later, Ryeowook had pounced on him, his eyes big like a puppy's.

"Well, when you guys are done with practice, you can go back to the dorms and find out."

Ryeowook pouted and Eunhyuk patted the third-maknae's head.

"Yah, finish your dance practice first, then we can ALL go and see if hyung is back."

With renewed energy, the members got about to finishing their dance practice quickly.

Immediately after their practice, instead of going to their usual after-practice tteokboki place, the members rushed back to the dormitories, excited to see their leader.

* * *

"LEETEUK HYUNG!"

"Eh? Where is teukie hyung?"

"Yah! Did anyone see teukie hyung?"

"Is he in the bathroom?"

"He's not in the house"

"It's his release date today right?"

"He's been here! He took his lunchbox!"  
"He's not in his room, but Ryeowook, I found your green lunchbox half empty on his bed."

"Eh? Where did he go?"

"Someone call him!"

"He's not picking up!"

"Yah guys! He left his phone in his room!"

"You guys start making dinner. I will go find him. He's probably somewhere around the neighbourhood. Call me if he comes back!"

Kangin wore his shoes, took the lift down and stepped out into the summer heat. Without really knowing where he was supposed to start looking, he took a turn and began to walk down a path leading towards the park.

* * *

Leaning against a big tree, Leeteuk stared into the sky, which was slowly turning dark. He closed his eyes and sighed. His head was pounding. He must have caught a cold from leaving the dormitories in the rain just a few hours before. Leeteuk always had a weak immune system, but he thought the rain looked especially welcoming that day. He wondered if the members had finished up their practice. He would take a short nap there, and then go back.

Kangin had been walking for fifteen minutes. He knew Leeteuk was somewhere in the park. He wouldn't go anywhere else. If he went on to the main streets, people would recognize him. Leeteuk may look like he loved being the centre of attention and seemed like an extrovert, but Kangin knew better.

The park was huge, but Kangin knew the park well. During their trainee days, when Leeteuk was stressed out, he would come to the park. Kangin was always the one to find him and bring him back to the dormitories. After they debuted, Leeteuk came here less often, but this was his safe haven.

Turning around another bend that led deep into a quite section of the park, Kangin spotted a figure lying against a big tree. The scene looked melancholic, but familiar. Kangin slowly walked over to the lone figure. He sighed as he looked at the leader's tired, sleeping face.

"Jungsu?"

"Poor guy must be exhausted."

Kangin muttered very softly to himself.

"I can hear you, you know?"

Leeteuk opened his eyes. He wasn't surprised that it was Kangin who had came to find him. It had always been Kangin who came to find him. He remembered the first time he had left the dormitories without telling anyone. It was Kangin who had found him.

* * *

_ Jungsu walked along the gravel path. He didn't know where he was headed. He had just finished practice and felt frustrated. He wasn't good enough. They were going to debut in less than a year. He was the leader. But he just couldn't get things right. That day had been the worst practice ever. The vocal instructor, the dance instructor and their managers had screamed at them._

_ "Twelve boys in a group. I told them it would never work. Did they listen? No! And now, look at you. Proving me right. You boys just can't get anything right can you? Park Jungsu, as their leader, tell me, have you done anything right today?"_

_ Jungsu looked at the wooden floor, unable to utter a word in response._

_ "I will tell you, you guys are never going to succeed. Never! Your singing is weak and your dancing is un-coordinated. We've been at the same dance and song for the past two weeks! It's so simple! Why is it so hard to get it right?"_

_ After a good hour of being lectured at, the boys were finally allowed to go back to their dormitories to "reflect" on their mistakes. Jungsu left the dormitories the first instance he could. _

_ It was his entire fault. He couldn't rally the team together, and now the boys are demoralized and suffering even more, all because of him. _

_ Jungsu kicked at the pebbles on the ground. He slipped his hands in his pockets and walked deeper into the park. It was dark, lighted up by the occasional lampposts dotted around the perimeter. But Jungsu embraced this darkness. He found a big tree and slumped against it._

_ "Jungsu… stop blaming yourself."_

_ Jungsu looked up to see Kangin sliding down next to him._


	2. Chapter 2

It was almost eight at night. Kangin and Leeteuk walked back to the dormitory, occasionally exchanging a few comments here and there. When they entered the 12th floor dormitory, they found everyone huddled around a table set up in the living room, munching on chicken.

"HYUNG!"

Within seconds, Ryeowook had gotten up from his place, ran over and engulfed Leeteuk in a big bear hug.

"Leeteuk hyung, where did you go?"

"Have you eaten dinner?"

"Yah Ryeowook, let hyung have some space and catch his breath!"

With Eunhyuk's intervention, the interrogation by Ryeowook thankfully ended. Leeteuk gave a wane smile.

"Hey guys, I'm sorry for worrying you. I just wanted to take a walk at the park. And yeah, I have already eaten dinner on my own."

"Oh it's okay hyung! You look tired, do you want to sleep first? We can catch up tomorrow!"

"Yeah, that would be good. Thanks guys, don't sleep too late okay? You all have practice tomorrow."

Leeteuk walked back into his room and closed the door. The members shrugged and went about finishing their dinner and going back to their respective floors and rooms. When their manager came, they told him that Leeteuk had turned in already. Their manager shrugged and left, saying that they will have a meeting tomorrow then, at the practice rooms. They were to wait for him at 7.30am tomorrow morning to go to the company to practice the choreography for their upcoming album. The members didn't find Leeteuk's behavior weird. On his past few visits back to the dorm, he always turned in early. It must be tough in the army, they thought.

Except Kangin.

Kangin excused himself from dinner, saying that he didn't feel that hungry. He went into his room and sat on his bed. He knew that Leeteuk hadn't eaten. Leeteuk didn't really like to eat outside of the dorm. He said it was unhealthy to eat out too often, and he preferred cooking at home. Kangin knew Leeteuk didn't cook in the dorms. The rubbish bin was empty, save for a few empty drink packets, just like how it was when they had left the dorm earlier this morning.

Leeteuk's behavior felt off. Leeteuk rarely lied, and he would never skip a meal. But Kangin didn't know what was happening.

Troubled, Kangin lied down on his bed, thinking, until exhaustion took over and he drifted off to a restless sleep.

* * *

On the other hand, Leeteuk was awake. After he had excused himself from the company of his members and isolated himself inside the room, he had sat down on his bed, leaning against the wall.

It was now near 2am in the morning. Leeteuk had not moved from his position since he sat down. He didn't particularly thought of anything. He just sat there, in a daze. His head was pounding hard and his stomach rumbled softly.

_I should really get some sleep._

Leeteuk stood up to change out of his now-dried clothes. A wave of dizziness washed over him and black spots clouded his vision.

_What is happening…_

* * *

It was 7am in the morning. Everyone was awake and Ryeowook was making breakfast.

"Hey! Breakfast is ready! We need to be downstairs in thirty minutes! So hurry up!"

"Yah someone go wake Leeteuk hyung up! I haven't seen him come out of his room!"

"I will get him!"

Donghae walked over to Leeteuk's room and gave a tentative knock.

"Hyung? Breakfast is ready and we need to leave in thirty minutes?"

There was no response. This time, Donghae gave two hard knocks.

"Hyung?"

Donghae tried to open the door, but the door was locked. Kangin happened to walk past and stopped.

"Is he not awake yet?"

"I don't know. He's not responding to my knocks and the door is lock."

Kangin tried knocking again but to no avail. Donghae ran to get the room keys in the living room and fumbled to find the one that fit Leeteuk's room. With a click, the door unlocked and Donghae and Kangin rushed into the room.

"YAH HYUNG!"

"SOMEONE CALL THE AMBULANCE!"

"What? Why? What happened?"

"Oh my god someone call the ambulance!"

"Huh what happened?!"

"YAH LEETEUK HYUNG FAINTED SOMEONE CALL THE BLOODY AMBULANCE AND STOP ASKING!"

It was a flurry of activity and panic in the dorm. Someone called the ambulance, another called the manager. Siwon ran up to get the other members who were still in the other the dorm.

Heechul burst into the room, worry etched on his face.

"Kangin, what the hell happened? Why did hyung faint?"

Kangin shrugged.

"I don't know, when we came in he was already on the floor. He feels really hot though."

Heechul sighed in frustration and bent down to touch the leader's body.

"Oh my god he's burning. WHERE IS THE BLOODY AMBULANCE?!"

"It's coming it's coming! I can hear the sirens"

* * *

Heechul, Kangin and a representative from the company waited outside the emergency room, where Leeteuk had just been wheeled into 20 minutes before. Heechul was pacing up and down, frustration and worry evident on his face. Kangin stared into blank air, in a daze. The rest of the members had protested when told they could not go to the hospital, but the company did not want this to leak into the media. Kangin and Heechul had insisted vehemently to accompany Leeteuk, and the company relented after making sure Kangin and Heechul took off their makeup, wore hats, masks and jackets.

Just then, the door of the emergency room opened and a doctor walked out.

"Family of Park Jungsu?"

The three men jumped up immediately.

"We are his members, how is he? Will he be okay? Why did he faint?"

"Oh it's nothing too much. Just exhaustion and a high fever. His blood glucose levels were low so we have him on an IV drip. We will keep him for observation but he should be able to leave in a day or two if his fever subsides. You can visit him in Ward 2A bed 20. He's still sleeping though."

The three men thanked him and the doctor left. Heechul and Kangin got permission to stay until lunch as the representative had to return to the company. They hurriedly made their way up to the ward.

* * *

Leeteuk had just woken up. His head was still spinning and his throat was parched. He could feel that his hand was hooked up to a drip. _I must be in the hospital. He _slowly sat up and wanted to go to the washroom. He felt nauseous and wanted to throw up. He could vaguely make out the setup of his room. It was a single bed ward, with an attached toilet just ten steps away.

"Hyung!"

"Yah hyung why are you sitting up?"

He could recognize those voices. It belonged to his members. Kangin… and Heechul.

"Feel like… throwing up… want to go… washroom… but my head hurts… everything is spinning"

Leeteuk coughed and held his head. It hurt so bad. He could feel it burning. _I must have a fever._

His members were alarmed and Kangin rushed to get a basin from the washroom.

"Yah hyung! Don't move! Kangin went to get a basin from the washroom. Throw up in that. You shouldn't get off the bed, you are in no condition to!"

A basin was thrust in his hands and Leeteuk threw up. His throat hurt.

"I'm sorry"

"You have nothing to be sorry for! Get some rest okay? We will be here till lunch. Do you need anything else?"

"Wa..water."

Heechul grabbed a glass of water from the nightstand and gently gave it to the leader. After taking a few sips, Leeteuk let out a groan and closed his eyes. Within seconds, he had fallen asleep.

Kangin nudged Heechul and motioned for him to leave the room quietly. Once they were out of the room, they closed the door gently.

"He didn't eat anything yesterday you know… All he threw up was gastric acid."

"What!? Didn't he say he ate?"

"Yeah… but he lied. He didn't. I found him in a park… you know, the place he always go to when something's troubling him. I found him sleeping, sitting against a tree. His shirt was drenched, I think he got caught in the rain. Come to think of it, when we found him earlier this morning, he was still wearing that same shirt. I think he didn't change out. He must have caught a cold."

"Why didn't you make him eat then!? If you knew something was off, why didn't you ask him?!"

"I… I don't know. It's just… he's been like this you know… since he enlisted. Especially since... you know."

* * *

**Thanks for to cherjeanne for the review! It was really motivating and great to hear from a reader! I really appreciate reviews so thank you for taking time to write a short note! **

**First off, sorry for the late update. I've been really caught up in schoolwork and this year is a really important one for me. Nevertheless, writing helps me to vent my frustration and I like to write (:**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**Love,**

**Lyn**


	3. Chapter 3

"_Hello?"_

"_Yah… young woon ah… it's me"_

"_Jungsu hyung?"_

"_Can you come and pick me?"_

"_Aren't you in camp?"_

"_No, it's my off day today. I just didn't tell you guys."_

"_Hyung, did you drink?"  
"No… I'm at the park, you will be able to find me."_

"_Okay hyung"_

_After Leeteuk hung up on him, Kangin went to borrow a car from the manager, saying that he needed to run some last-minute errands. He quickly drove over to the park and found Leeteuk waiting at the carpark for him. He got off and approached the leader, unsure of what was happening._

"_Hyung… what's wrong?"_

"_I don't know Young Woon ah…"_

_Leeteuk rarely called Kangin by his given name. Usually, when he did, it was when Kangin did something disappointing or wrong. _

"_Do you want me to bring you back to the dorms? You can sleep there tonight. Nobody would mind."_

"_No… I don't want to go anywhere today."_

"_Hyung, how long have you been out?"_

"_Since I left camp."_

"_Hyung, it's less than 5 degrees out. It's freezing."_

"_I know, but I'm not cold."  
"Hyung! You are wearing just a thin jacket!"_

"_I know, Young Woon, I know."_

"_Hyung, please get into the car where the heater is on. I will drive you to the dorms. Get some rest before you return to camp, please? I don't want you to catch a cold."  
"Okay fine."_

* * *

_Kangin was still confused. He knew something was up with Leeteuk, but Leeteuk evidently did not want to say anything. As he watched Leeteuk close his room door behind him, Kangin let out a sigh of frustration._

* * *

"You mean… what happened before he enlisted?"

"Yeah."

"But, he said it was okay, he was okay."

"I think there's more to the story."

"Do you think he will…"

"I don't know, hyung. I don't know anymore."

* * *

"HYUNG!"

"How's Leeteuk hyung?"  
"Is he okay?"

"What did the doctor say?!"

"Yah yah yah! Back off and give me some AIR! The doctor says hyung will be fine with some rest. If we finish practice early, we can go visit him. He was asleep when we left."

"Oh okay! Then let's quickly practice!"

* * *

Leeteuk opened his eyes. His world was no longer spinning, and his head hurt less. His vision was more focused and he could make out the time on the digital clock on the wall in front of him.

5.37 PM.

How long had he been sleeping? His stomach felt empty, and his throat still parched. He gingerly reached out for the glass of water on the nightstand next to his bed.

The door to his room creaked open. Leeteuk looked up. It was the doctor and two nurses.

"Hello Jungsu, are you feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Okay, we will just be doing a routine check up. One of my nurses will take your temperature and the other will replace your IV drip bag. I will be taking a blood test as well."

At the mention of the blood test, Leeteuk stiffened. He could feel his heartbeat rising, his breathing becoming faster. The machine next to his bed began to beeping really fast.

"Whoa whoa, Jungsu, calm down. Your heartbeat's going crazy."

"Can… can we wait for my members to come before taking my blood test?"

"I guess we could, if they are coming later today. Did they say they would come?"

"I don't know, but they will come."

"Okay, if they don't come by 8pm, we will have to take your blood test then."

"Okay."

Leeteuk prayed fervently that his members would turn up. He knew they would if they could, but he didn't know when practice would end. What if they didn't turn up before 8pm?

"Okay Jungsu, your temperature has lowered to about 38.5 degrees. That's a good sign. I will come back at 8PM to do a blood test for you. The nurses will bring some dinner for you in about an hour."

"Okay, thank you."

The door closed and Leeteuk was left alone again. This time, he noticed that his phone had been placed on the nightstand. He reached out and switched it on. Messages began to pop up.

"Hyung! We will come visit you after practice. Get well soon! Get plenty of rest!"

"Hyung! You gave me such a scare just now, we are practicing hard so we can come and see you!"

"Leeteuk hyung, the manager said we could come visit you at 7.30PM!"

* * *

Leeteuk relaxed a little. His members might still be able to make it in time for 8PM.

It was 7.15 PM. The nurse had brought in his dinner half an hour ago. Jungsu's stomach rumbled, but he did not have an appetite. He had been poking and pushing his food around. It was porridge with a side of soft vegetables and mashed potatoes. It was bland.

_Kyuhyun could cook better than this…_

Next to him, his phone screen lit up.

"Yah Jungsu-yah, I know it's dinner time so eat the food that's on the table right now, although it's probably porridge and you hate it."

Leeteuk chuckled softly and smiled to himself. Kangin knew everything, especially how much he hated bland tasting food, especially plain porridge.

* * *

The door opened and Leeteuk opened his eyes. He must have dozed off.

"HYUNG!"

Leeteuk smiled. It was his members. And they were just in time too. Shortly after they came, the doctor came in to take his blood test.

"Okay, everyone out!"

With that command from Heechul, the throng of humans trickled out of the ward to wait. As Heechul turned to leave as well, he felt a hand grabbing his arm. He turned around and saw Leeteuk's panicked eyes.

He nodded, understanding immediately.

"Okay Jungsu, we are going to do your blood test now. Heechul-ssi, you can take his left hand."

Leeteuk looked up at Heechul, who was holding his left hand tightly.

"Hyung, just look at me."

"_You are not him."_

* * *

**I wrote this quite a while ago, but couldn't find the time to update. I will be updating less frequently now because my finals are coming up. But once those are over, I will update a lot more frequently!**

**But ahh my heart and head hurts so much. Two beautiful angels left so quickly, too early. But they are in a better place.**

**I ask that if you are reading this, as a fellow kpop fan, to take a minute to pray for these two angels, and for the remaining members. Then take a minute to go hug your loved ones, tell them how much you love them.**

**Life is short, and precious. **


End file.
